I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
That's intense
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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