Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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