hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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