I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
