But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
