I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize