i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Where is the hickey?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Randomize
