dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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