Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
