you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
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Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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