i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize