You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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