How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
