we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize