I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
