He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
