I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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