it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
