My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
