I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize