dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
