I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
