sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
