This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
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