some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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