those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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