O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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