im drinking this country out of the recession.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
