Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
