Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
