I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
