That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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