Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
