How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
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she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
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Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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