Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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