Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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