some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
please come you make the beer taste better
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
