i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I have fence marks all over my body
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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