atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
