Dual....:-)
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Randomize
