I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
