I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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