2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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