is your mom at the bar?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
