Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Randomize