What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
