I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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