She's JV to your varsity
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
