i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
