She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
