I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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