If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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