turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
NoShamevember. You game?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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