dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize