I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
