Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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