duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
