If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
