How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It was confusing and full of hummus
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
