I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
