Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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