i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I've blown a few things in my day
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
