either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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