you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
